Digi-Scene

I've got the strongest craving for a chili cheese dog right now and I don't even LIKE chili cheese dogs, so why I would crave one is a mystery. Unless it has to do with the fact that I haven't had anything that even remotely resembles a heart attack in a bun lately.

As a matter of fact, ANYTHING on a bun sounds good right now.

I didn't used to believe in PMS. I thought that women who complained that they turned into raving lunatics at "that time of the month", were merely wanting a convenient excuse for bad behavior. Kind of like blaming a mouse on a motorcycle for a fart noise in an otherwise completely silent room. (Bonus points if any readers can guess who that refers to, lol)

In the past few years, however, I've come to be a true believer in the idea that fluctuating hormones can indeed turn a normally reasonable woman from a Dr. Jekyll into a Mr. Hyde at the drop of a hat. What I've noticed with me is that I tend to become overly sensitive to even the smallest of (perceived) slights. Today is a good example.

I called Boni at lunch like I normally do and simply because he made it sound like he was busy and that he would speak with me later, I found myself giving him the silent treatment. Where in the world did that come from? I hate it when I do crap like that to someone who NEVER pulls stuff like that on me.

Argghhh! I just want to go home and curl up on the couch in a fetal position with a heating pad and wait for this to pass. Best not talk to anyone until it does, too...

I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. I mean, what's so sacred about January 1 being the time to decide to make changes in your life? It just so happens that I decided in late November that I was going to make some changes and I'm glad I started then instead of a couple of weeks ago.

First thing I'm making changes to has to do with my health. This isn't only a diet and it isn't just so I can lose weight. I was finally getting tired of feeling crappy all the time. So, I've changed the way I eat (including looking hard at myself as to why I have the relationship with food that I do), I go to the gym a minimum of 5 days a week, and I've hired a nutritionist and personal trainer. In the 6 weeks since I've started this, I've lost nearly 15 pounds and I feel A LOT better. More consistent energy throughout the day, sleeping better at night, and better mood.

The other thing I've made changes to has to do with my relationship with Boni. We went through a really rough patch right after Thanksgiving that we've worked through now, but I've made changes mainly in how I view our relationship, what I bring to it, and what I expect from him. It has been making a world of difference in how well we communicate and how happy we are. It's still a work in progress, but I think we actually HELP each other now, rather than just expecting things from each other.

The main thing I did for myself in the last 3 months was to quit my job and get a different one. I now work for an interactive advertising agency here and I can't even begin to articulate what a night and day difference the work environment here is compared to where I was before. Have you ever had the experience of being sick and not realizing just how sick you were until you started to feel better? That's how I feel about this new job. I knew I was unhappy at my previous job, but I didn't realize just HOW unhappy I was until I left. It was like being in a depressive fog for months with no end in sight. Once I left, it's like the fog has lifted and I have such optimism now for my future.

2007 has been good to me so far. The past couple of years have taught me that nothing ever stays the same, and that can eventually be a good thing. I'm looking forward to the surprises (good and bad) that await me this year.