I haven't written on my blog about the one event that has been the most significant thing to happen in my life to date. There's so much I don't understand about it and my feelings that I don't think that talking about it here would be helpful or good for me. However, there is one thing that I've discovered about myself as a result - I'm someone who is an emotional eater.
I've never been all that slender, but I've been what I call healthily curvaceous. I can finally admit that I'm not even that anymore, I've become flat out overweight. I've realized that the only thing that is going to get my weight in check and my body healthy is for my mind and spirit to become healthy again too.
I wish I was already there and that I didn't see the months and months of hard work that await me. I think I'm finally ready to start making some small changes. It's gotta start somewhere...
1. The answer ring of my co-worker's cell phone that he invariably leaves unattended on his desk while he's getting a cup of coffee (Justin Timberlake? Really????)
2. Mom calling during the last inning of the ballgame.
3. The tourist in front of me in line at Bronx Pizza who wants to know what "whitestone" is.
4. The police helicopter hovering over our neighborhood at night giving unintelligble instructions over its loudspeaker. Turns out it was an escaped mental patient from the nearby hospital. I was boiling my water just in case.
5. People who think they can "help" me with my job, because "I use Google all the time".
I'm not a person with very discriminating tastes. I'm not the one to ask to give a review of a restaurant, a movie, or a theatrical performance. If it doesn't outright suck, everything gets a big thumbs up from me. Which is why I make such a good fan. Particularly of San Diego Padres baseball.
The Padres don't outright suck and because of that, any game they play gets a big thumbs up from me, win or lose. I figure that when they lose, they didn't mean to and they'll make it up to me next game. If they win, it's always a pleasant surprise. I think I personify the Padres type of fan. Which is funny when you contrast us with say an LA Dodgers fan.
LA Dodgers fans seem to bleed Dodger blue. They come to our stadium sporting their bright blue hair wigs and painted faces and they really stand out. A Padres fan stands out if they actually own a piece of team memorabilia like a jersey or a hat. We also sit during the games (soaking up the sun) and we'll rouse ourselves to clap if somone gets on base. Otherwise we're seated until the 7th evening stretch (or the next beer run). The LA Dodgers don't personify a true California team, they still seem to carry with them that ol' Brooklyn Dodgers attitude, lo these many years later.
I think this laid back attitude towards sports comes from our cultural environment here in San Diego. I've been to the east coast a number of times and it's always a culture shock when I go there. Everything really is at a much faster pace and more importantly everything's so damn serious, even sports.
I've never understood the phrase "work hard, play hard." Why? I'd much rather take it easy ALL THE TIME and enjoy life as it comes. That's kind of the way the Padres are right now. Yes, there's only a month left in the season and we're a game behind the Dodgers in the division standings, but there's absolutely no sense of panic here or even anxiety to pass the Dodgers. We're enjoying these final long days of summer and aren't necessarily in a hurry for them to end.
OK, I've complained here ad nauseum about my hairstylist because of her uncanny ability to cut hair like she was stuck in Bad Sitcom Land. Well, she has finally moved to Florida and I've been seeing another stylist in the same salon for a couple of months now. The good news is, she has actually given my hair a modern style even during this awkward growing out stage that it's in. I should be in heaven, right? RIGHT?
Well, I am. Sort of.
Unfortunately I've traded in a hairstylist who can't cut hair for a hairstylist that can't seem to get hair color right. Not that she gets it wrong, per se, but it's just kind of....off. Because my hair is so overtly gray, not coloring it isn't an option. I want her to darken the brown in my hair so it doesn't look so red by the time I need to get it colored again. However, my definition of auburn and her definition are miles apart it seems. I'm thinking more Julia Roberts circa early 90's and her version is Lucille Ball circa early 50's. Failure to communicate, indeed.
I recently had a nightmare in which she left out the brown completely when she colored my hair and it ended up being bright orange and then she wouldn't correct it. In my dream I opened up a can of whoop ass on her as my mother watched on in horror. Isn't it interesting that in my dream, my mother was more horrified at my potty mouth than she was about the train wreck that was my hair?
Man, I need a boatload of therapy...(and a new hairstylist)...
Last Thursday, I got the grim news that I was getting the boot from my company. My parting gift wasn't exactly a years supply of Rice-a-Roni, but it wasn't that NEWWWW car, either. I gave the 5 1/2 best years of my life to this company and that's the thanks I get?
Thankfully they gave me a 2 week transition period in which to get my head wrapped around the idea of unemployment and trying to figure out where you go to develop the skill to write up a carboard sign with something clever enough for someone to give me money.
So here's the timeline.
Thursday - Get called into HR. "Sorry to tell you this Kim, but you are part of the RIF. You'll be here for 2 more weeks to 'transition' your remaining projects, and then it's adios. Here's your separation packet. Unfortunately it's not complete with everything you need, because we just decided this morning to add you to the list. Have a nice day."
Friday - Get a phone call from the guy in Geneva, Switzerland who will be heading up the new international version of my team. He asks what I do. I tell him that I can win at solitaire in only 15 moves on a good day. He wasn't amused. Neither was I.
Monday - Begin sending out resumes. Get a phone call that afternoon from a company wanting to interview me.
Tuesday - Get a phone call from the guy in Geneva again. He just found out that a key member of our team who was NOT laid-off has another job offer and has given her two week notice. He'd like to lobby the company to see if I can have my job back. I tell him that I'd love to discuss it further but I have a job interview in half an hour. Subdued, he says that he wishes me well and that I can use him for a reference. What a swell guy. I head out to my interview with a software company just down the road from my current job. The CFO likes what I have to say and I think the interview went well.
Wednesday - Get a frantic call from the guy in Geneva asking me if I won't PLEASE reconsider staying at the company. I tell him I will consider it. He still doesn't know if the request will go through, but his VP has approved it and so has HR. It now needs to be approved by the President of the whole frickin' company. HR asks for a copy of my resume. Hey I just happen to have a VERY up-to-date version to share. *snicker*
As I go home, I reflect on the pros and cons of staying vs going. I know that the software company is very interested, but I honestly don't know if it's going to be a good fit for me. I'm torn.
Thursday - Get to the office and the guy in Geneva calls again. He's already recived a call by the software company to provide a reference. He's put them off for now because he can definitively offer me a job on the new team. I negotiate with him for a few perks that he readily agrees to along with an accelerated review for a pay increase. I ask for 24 hours to consider the offer. I go home and stew and fret and consider. By Friday morning I've decided I'm going to stay.
Friday - Get to the office and find out that the software company has called ALL of my references already and they want to speak with me. I have the unpleasant task of thanking them for their interest, but that I've decided to stay with my current company. They ask if there's any way I would reconsider (ie $$$$), but it really isn't the money, it's about the job. I give the Europe office a ring and let them know I'll be staying. I've let them know that I understand that my employment is "at will", which means that not only can they lay me off, but I can leave whenever I want to too.
I don't plan to stay here forever, but the job market is good right now, and they always say that the best way to find the job you want, is to be looking while you still have a job. I plan to do just that.
That's what it's all about!
